I just set my alarm clock for the last time…

I mean I’ve set it to my new workday wakeup time of 6:30 a.m. instead of the 5:30 intrusion that has alarmed me for most of the past two years.

Gone are the days of being startled awake at such a ridiculous hour. Because tomorrow I start my next career adventure…

After a really difficult decision that forced me to choose between two very different job offers, I chose the path most people would not. Are you surprised?

Mind you, the first step in the process of choosing either one was to decide whether I could leave full-time contracting for the first time in nine years. After being my own boss (more or less) under my dba, FineLines, for as long as any single full-time job I’ve ever had, it’s huge to think of giving up that independence.
It’s also “great” to ponder giving up paying for my own health insurance…

It’s hard to think about not having those breaks of time off between contracts.
It’s equally difficult to imagine actually being paid when you take time off…

Given that my 90-year-old mother will be moving to live near me soon, it would be nice, I reasoned, to have a constant job schedule for a change, so my care giving also can be predictable. Having a steady income in the countdown years to Social Security benefits is another point in favor of going full-time, right?

One significant drawback of taking a full-time job is that it would make it kinda difficult (but not impossible) to cling to my unemployment shtick/persona. This blog would never have been started without the recurring theme of joblessness throughout my career. I have so much material yet to blog about!

But with all this and other factors, I have almost convinced myself that becoming a captive again is the best choice right now. Actually, I was hoping to make this my last job choice ever before retirement (which is still not going to be in this decade), but I’m not quite ready to say there might not be other possibilities to consider at some point.

Good then. My brain is tricked into thinking that this decision doesn’t have to be forever. Ah, that feels a little less scary.

Now to consider which opportunity to embrace, which path to take? The two could not be more different.

There’s the corporate job with big industry, the type of job that years ago, I would have expected and wanted to end up in. I’ve been contracting for this company the better part of two years, and so it would almost be like just a continuation of what I’m used to… such as getting up at 5:30 in the morning? Ooh, no, thanks.

But it’s actually a pretty exciting program to work on, one that has international significance and requires a SECRET security clearance. OMG! How cool would that be?

The other opportunity is with a non-profit. Right away you know that spells less money, right? Yep, it’s true. But I have an established work relationship with this organization, too. I’ve been doing work for them on a freelance basis for more than a year. And doggonit, but I enjoy the type of work I’ve been doing. I love the work they do, which is equally engaging if not yet international in impact. And I’d be working from home. Throw the annoying alarm clock out the window!

Still, I owed it to myself to consider all aspects–or as many as I could think of–of both, pros and cons, tradeoffs and negotiations, which I mulled over and fretted over, lost sleep over. But the more I compared them, the less different they seemed. On the subject of employee benefits, I was surprised to discover that they seemed to be on a par. When time ran out, I had to just make a decision. Turn one down; accept the other.

Here’s the serendipitous if not ironic part: the big industry enterprise is a corporate sponsor of the little non-profit.

When I walked out of the office of big industry on Thursday, I still didn’t know if I’d made the right choice. Who in their right mind turns them down? Why, me of course.

So tomorrow I start my latest career adventure working right here in my home office. You see, this way, my brain will be tricked into thinking that I’m still an independent. We can ease into the realization of this full-time employee thing later. Much later than 5:30 a.m.  …

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  1. My best to you. Thanks for sharing your story. I always enjoy the ‘read’.

    • Carol Toombs
    • August 18th, 2015

    Paula-

    So happy for you. I know you will grow into this job and blossom since you made this decision with your heart.

    Blessings! C

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